No shirt, no shoes, no consequences.

Have you ever imagined a world with no consequences?

No laws, no rules, no societal norms, no responsibilities, no qualms?

What would you do?  

What would I do?

I wouldn't give a fuck.

Sounds simple enough, right?  Not so much when you are me.  I have always been one to be acutely aware of other's needs.  The worst thing I can think of to do is purposely hurt another human being.  Even when someone has chewed me up, spit me out, and hung my partially digested remains up to dry, I cannot fathom actually telling them to their face that they suck.  I have massive issues setting boundaries, telling people no, saying what I really think...anything that may possibly offend or even disrupt the day of someone else.  Even when these perceived offenses are not truly so, when the person I am so concerned about hurting would not be slightly put out by my actions, I just can't take that risk.

So, instead, I eat myself alive to save others.  I take on responsibilities I don't really want.  I say things I don't really mean.  I choke myself, suffocate myself on my own feelings to spare those of others.  I allow myself to be taken advantage of, to be molded, to be silenced, in order to make others happy.  

So.  No consequences.  I wouldn't care.  I wouldn't always be so damned worried about what others thought and felt.  I would be selfish, I would be self absorbed, I would be on a quest for satisfaction.  Want me to babysit?  Hell no.  Go to a movie I don't really want to see?  Absolutely not.  Invite you over for the dinner you've not so subtly been hinting at?  Get bent.

Now, I speak of this like it is some kind of fantasy world.  For me, it is.  But I have witnessed, that for some lucky, blessed others-this is their reality.  They do whatever they want, all the time, with no consideration of feelings, rules, regulations, anything.  They post snotty self serving statuses on Facebook insinuating how much better than you and I they are with no consideration to others' feelings.  They bully friends into bending to their will, oblivious to the stifling of said "friends" feelings.  Wow.  How I would love to spend a day like that.

It would be fun....for a day.  I could get it all out of my system.  But there is no way in hell I could live the rest of my life like that.  I would rather be hyper-sensitive and self-sacrificing and know that I am the best person I can be and put the best me out there for others than completely oblivious to what the people I care about need.

But, for one day...I wouldn't give a fuck.

(I would also be a stripper.  And smoke a whole lot of drugs.  But that's besides the point.  Back to reality now.)

*************************

This post was inspired by the hot bitches over at Girl Talk Thursday, with the prompt being: In a world without consequences, what kinky thing/fantasy would you try?

I know my answer wasn't very kinky, but DAMN, is it a fantasy.  :)

PS-Mr. Floren encouraged me to be honest and write this post.  So if you're offended, blame him.  I'm not ready to take that step yet.  Ha!